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i'm visiting my feelings of experiements, when i had that piczo page and it was the best. i really liked how i made everything glittery and fun with automated music playing.
bc i love music i want to love properly
and how i have so much going on in my head it feels too small sometimes, like wanting an extention or a walk in wardrobe
so i'm going after that ego death, like that scene with rick rubin and its all white and its supposed to be a gag at the rich and how they constantly chase and pay for god but it kinda got profound. not sure if i'm making this up, probabaly not, even if it was a fever dream that shit still happened.
but also how everything that i love i love deeply and i love lots of things and so it can feel like im not loving everything properly or equally, like having a favourite child or a favourite album and how one of them you're not supposed to have but you still do. i'm making a point of making no points of not restricting what i can have and how the gag the whole time is that your wants can in fact be your needs. how you want things you need or how things you need are absolutely things you want.
to love mess and have it not make sense, and to love so that i am feeling.
